My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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