I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
