Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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