I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
