No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
