Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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