Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
