so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
