Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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