I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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