My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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