Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
