"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
