I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
