i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
