clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
