I've blown a few things in my day
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
