She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
