Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
