I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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