i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
