remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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