do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
