I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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