I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
