Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
