apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
