he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
