We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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