just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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