I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
