who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
