I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
