theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
