The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
false alarm. still invincible.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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