She's JV to your varsity
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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