Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
