Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
