Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
