The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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