so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
