We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
