no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
