She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
