I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
