Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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