Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
