Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
