well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
