How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
