i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
