she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
